Sunday 16 October 2011

It's not sexual, but it is sexy.

I think I may have to lay down on the psychologist's couch for this one.

"So Angus. How are you feeling today?"

"Not bad. Not bad. But I feel I have something to get of my chest. You know, some thoughts that have been bouncing around me head for a short while."

"How short a while?"

"About 6 years."

"Ah. Ok. Tell me about it."

Deep breath.


"Well, about 6 years back, I was waiting at the bus stop and saw a woman on the other side of the road. As soon as I saw her walking... bang! She caught my attention. However... It was not in a jaw drop, eyes pop out, start drooling Homer-see-doughnut kind of way. It was more a feeling of someone that has it. Someone who is rocking that thing.


"I looked at this woman as she crossed the road. Quite obviously staring at this point mind you. And damn this woman had a sexy walk and air about her. Her clothes, fitted her perfectly. Her style, fitted her perfectly. Her confidence, fitted her perfectly. I stared at her as she took one sexy stride after sexy stride. Not too much, mind you. Not overdoing it. But it just seemed to fit her perfectly. And the most interesting thing of all, was that I was not having a hormonal response. I didn't want this woman sexually, though I thought there would be quite a few men that did!"

"Not sexually? You didn't have any sexual urges towards this woman at all?"

"Nah not really. Seriously. Seriously! Don't let me see you smirking behind that note pad! It was more like a deep appreciation of seeing someone who is confident in their own skin. Someone who may not have found themselves completely, but is confident in knowing they are on the right path.


"Ok, put it this way. If you see a hot woman or man you may think sex. I wouldn't mind some of that! Then you're off to the next thought. But if you see a hot person, who has an air of confidence around them. They have an air of, of, ju ne se qua, mixed with a dash of swagger, all wrapped together lovingly with a sense of higher purpose. What you feel towards them is not sex. Or at least not just sex. It's respect. It's understanding. It's that smile and hug you give someone when they have just achieved something for themselves and for no one else. It's that feeling you get which you can't explain that says "before me is more than what I see." That pride you feel in someone who is, well, as I said before, confident in their own skin that they are on the right path."

"So what made you come here today and chat to me? What made you bring this up now?"

"A good friend, Angel (yes really, that's her name), recently put on an event. I'm always proud to do this particular event. She started up a forum called The Natural Lounge which has kinda blown up and become very popular. Hence the event to get everyone together under one roof. It's a place where women with afro hair come to learn how to take care of their thick and curly."

The organiser, Angel, on the right

"Their what?"

"Their hair!"

Thick and curly

"Well why would they need a special place to be taught how to do this?"

"Well, to generalise massively, a large number of women with afro hair have had their hair straightened with dangerous chemicals from a young age and been led to believe that it is the norm, necessary and or the nominal notion of beauty. So now a number of women with afro hair are finding these forums to find their fit in their own skin. Though the event is a celebration of hair, I suppose the event can be said to be a celebration of learning yourself.

Sucking up good information

"And back we come to sexy. Sex is raw. Sexy is more. ... Did I just say that? I should trademark that! Sell it to..."

"You were saying about sexy..."

"Hey. As the doctor, aren't you meant to let me speak my mind??? Anyway. Yes. Sexy. How shall I explain this. The... aura. The swagger. The feel. The focus. The discipline. The purpose. But not all the answers... It's like looking at someone who's clothes fit them just right, then looking at someone else who, kinda looks like they are wearing clothes designed for another person. Another frame. Another soul. It's not "looks" you are looking at. It's "self". The same goes for hair. It's not about being rebellious. It's blending society and self and coming out with, well, inner sexy.

A perfect fit

"Not sexual at all?"

"Only a little." ;-)

Angus D
Click here to see more from The Natural Lounge Event. Plenty of smiles there!

5 comments:

  1. Angus: I didnt know you could do it like that! Awesome post!
    - LeAnne Dolce, Naptural Roots Magazine

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  2. This made me chuckle, especially as for the first time in a while i met two black men this week (at different times mind you) who looked at me in my afro and said 'i like your hair' then smile followed by 'i like you' i blush rarely but i'm so used to my own hair i don't notice stares any more i keep thinking i have a mole or something! This made me smile and chuckle a little, so thank you Angus! xoxox

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  3. This was a fantastic post and described the day perfectly!!

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  4. @ LeAnne - I am very happy you like the way I do it!!!

    @ Anonymous - Thank YOU. I love hearing people's stories and trying to write words that appeal to people in their lives. Or words that just make people smile even if I'm writing absolute rubbish! So thanks for taking the time to comment.

    @ Crystal Afro - Thanks. I had to write this post twice because the first time it got deleted by random acts of technology! :-)

    @ Angel - I tried to put a great day in a fresh light so I'm really glad you liked it.

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